Not Preparing For The Win, Is Preparing To Lose

Have you ever seen some progress in your life, or realize that your slowly on your way to accomplishing a set goal, and then got nervously afraid? If i do get to my goal, what will that mean? I would be, and be doing, something I have never been, or done before. Even though I am so close, I think I am going to quit. The fear has won again. The only good thing about living with fear, is that eventually it will go away, and then you only have to live with regret. Now that is something I can be proud of, because I can finally say that I beat the fear. But then again, I bet the living with regret is pretty awful too. I'll beat that too eventually with death though. I suppose in life, no one can really lose. What a comforting thought, I love winning. You know that is the real source of happiness - The accomplishing of goals!

Beauty Is In the Eye of the Beholder

Have you ever looked at something so beautiful that you realized that maybe you were not even worthy of sharing the same universe with it? I'm not talking about a plastic grocery bag caught in an updraft beautiful - but something so awesome that you almost wish you had never really known it was out there because it's depressing to know it's existence mocks your own. I think that's why man invented 'Shit Talking'. I'm glad we did invent it too. Everything that makes me feel small -- Fuck it. I learned that there is nothing so great that I can't talk shit about it. I even talk shit about talking shit if that's even possible.

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

I was browsing through this book about accomplishing everything you want in life. One tip was that often people sabotage themselves by making internal affirmations that are negative in context. Like telling yourself your not good enough, your too fat, or your too stupid. They recommend that you can change your life by now making positive affirmations repeatedly, doing it so much that eventually you will believe it. Talk about kissing your own ass. You could be your own 'yes man'. You know what else gives you positive affirmations; Drugs. They take you beyond confidence and into bliss. I suppose their is the obvious pitfall of addiction. But i intend to combat that by using the positive affirmation that 'I am stronger than any addiction - and can quit at any time.' I know that if i repeat that often enough, I could overcome anything.

I Am Not An Extra in Your Movie....Your An Extra in Mine

Its amazing how all of us have this sad fantasy about how we were meant for greatness. Then we look around and realize that quite possibly, whatever we are doing right now at this moment may be the highlight of my life. It can be depressing - especially if what your doing right now isn't that great. I mean to be honest anyone can do what your doing right now. ...And with that being said, who are these celebrities to be hogging all the pleasure. You can just as well memorize some lines, or write insipid lyrics to a catchy beat, or work out and have a nice body. ...Yeah but, they probably have parents with money, or natural beauty, a great metabolism, or morning after pills. ...But hey, we can still live vicariously through them, with cable, magazines, gossip sites! My new celebrity alter-ego is now Brad Pitt...Isn't my life great!!!

Love is More Than a Number

I once heard that human beings have a biological urge to bond with other human beings. The only problem is that every human being I meet does not automatically find me absolutely fascinating. I think that's the problem with this world; everyone else sucks.
However on the off chance that the problem is me. (I doubt it.) I have been actively making attempts at self-improvement. Specifically I'm making an effort to 1. make myself more attractive and appealing. 2. Be more personable and likable. 3. thinking positive and smiling more. and finally 4. zipping up my fly.

All The Worlds A Stage

My new ambition in life is to be a Wikipedia post. Considering I could theoretically write one on myself, that is perhaps unremarkable, but its one step up from coining a term on Urban Dictionary or writing a stupid anonymous internet blog. The point is: Is there a point to doing anything worthy of distinction? I mean what if you happen to aspire to be a congressman, a lofty, perhaps noble aspiration, but in the grand scheme of things do you actually know who the fuck your congressman is, or who it was four years ago? Who cares if you went to Harvard or won a gold metal, to everyone else your just another asshole, and thats if they actually know you.

Its the End of the World

Rome didnt fall in a day. You know i have seen the beginning of the end. it was eight years ago. You know there is nothing more fascinating to man than destruction. Ironically, man's second fascination is building. Often building to ensure his own destruction. You know foreigners often marvel about our political process, then can't trust Democracy when they see our results. I actually did research about moving to Canada. But where will the Canadians go when their sick of Americans too.

You Cant Change What You Are

I was browsing through this book about how to get the perfect job that you want. It basically said that it takes help to get to the top, which means you have to do more than just network, but make friends. Friends that would naturally want to help you. Well, that would entail me being out of myself. But I don't care about other people, thats like being phony, its not natural to me to take interest in things and people that i don't care about. Am i antisocial, maybe, but unfortunately its not your accomplishments, or your work ethic that will get you ahead in this life, but who you are friends with. The lottery it is then.

Today Is The Greatest....

Today is the first day of the rest of your life...well, seems like you already have a head start on me. I wonder if the beautiful people know how hard we have to work. I have realized that to get anywhere in this life, you first need to be interesting. People want to be friends with, date, hire, and make money with people they see as having something they desire to have for themselves. And the most important aspect of that is making yourself as attractive as possible. You are judged as a person by first sight by everyone you know, and if you are lucky enough to stick around, perhaps your personality can make up for what you lack in appearance. I intend to use our society's shallowness to my advantage, starting today.

Respect is just a word

Someone once said: "Get to know your parents before its too late." That is such a sentimental thought. Well, if they are anything like me, I don't want to know. The thing is you will never know anyone completely, everyone is hiding something. Your wife, your parents, your pastor, no one is an open book, everyone is lying to your face, and you are doing it right back. Believe me you don't want to know how your grandma was a prostitute during the war and that is how she was able to afford her way to the states, or how your Dad thinks his life may have been better if you had never been born, or that your Mom used to fuck guys for drugs when she was barely out of her teens. Just leave them alone, or stay away from the real stuff, they probably wont tell you the truth anyways.

Baz - elbub

I was listening to that song by I guess Baz Luhrman, you know the one where he dispences all his advice from his own meandering existence. As you may already know, it was Mary Shmich, a Chicago Tribune writer who first dispenced this advice. Anyways, that song does make you stop and think....what else can i say to the background of music that will sound profound. Does any of this matter, i mean in the end no one accomplishes everything they want to, some may argue anything at all. Telling someone that they can be a famous millionaire is cruel. Everyone should stick to small goals that they think they can accomplish, like paying this months rent.

I'm a thirty year old boy.

I am Jack's sense of nostalgia....The best birthday card I have ever received and consequentially the only one worth saving was a picture of the face of a sad baby with the caption, "But I don't want to grow up." One of the most realistic dreams I have is to retire and read old magazines and comics while I have all the time that I have left. Is it wierd that all I want to do is what I did when I was a kid? i.e eat waffles and read Archie comics. I'm not talking about any inner-child bullshit, although, I am not sure what that it is (I'll google it, just in case I am). Aw, fuck me, I wish I had no worries other than watching bugs bunny cartoons.

Welcome.....or whatever

i recently just watched the movie Fight Club again, and must say i really appreciate the idea of destroying everything that depresses us. I also find it ironic that this rebellious message against materialism, modern society, and pop culture is sold back to us in a DVD special edition package. Even though, we can mock and ridicule what we commonly regard as mainstream and popular, still someone is making money off your regard for being anti-establishment. The best part of it is that we can get the best of both worlds by shopping at places like Hot Topic or any skater shop in your nearby Mall. Anyways, I long for the day when we rise up and attack all that is wrong and is corrupting us.